Every couple sees their relationship as a perfect union of two people with the same goals, dreams, hopes and future. While this is a positive and sustaining thought, it is not the reality for the majority of couples today.
The reality is that many people closely guard information about themselves, their families and even what they see in their future during the period they are dating. They may even keep it private after they are married, but their actions and their words may suddenly seem to be very different to the other person.
Other issues such as differences in how to handle finances, when or if to have children or even whose career takes priority can also be issues that cause problems in the first few years after marriage.
To avoid these issues and the need for marriage counseling in these early years of the relationship, premarital counseling is an important consideration. Many religions now require the couple to take at least some basic course or training, but working with a professional therapist specializing in marriage counseling is certainly the best option.
Open Lines of Communication
A breakdown in communication is one of the biggest signs of trouble in a marriage. Through premarital counseling couples can address this proactively, learning how to talk to each other to both hear what the other is saying as well as expressing their own opinion.
Learning now to have disagreements that don’t turn into hurtful conversations that damage the relationship is a healthy way to address this problem. Simply pretending you will never disagree is both naive as well as dangerous to the longevity of the marriage.
Discuss the Hurtful Things from the Past
Most people have been in at least one relationship where they were hurt. For some, this is an emotional pain they carry while others may have been in both emotionally and physically abusive relationships.
When couples don’t know this about each other, it is very easy to overstep a boundary or bring up an issue that triggers those painful memories. Through premarital counseling, couples can discuss these issues in a safe environment and set healthy boundaries in their relationship to respect each other and their past issues.
By engaging in premarital counseling, any couple can make it less likely they will need marriage counseling down the road. However, even if something comes up and you need help, you have the confidence in understanding the process, which makes it much more likely you will both be comfortable in seeking assistance in the future.